By Ericka Saurit
Why defining your ideal client, considering how you show up to attract them, and all the things you say as you get to know each other… is a lot like falling in love.
Last month, we explored what really motivates people to hire you (ie, the emotions behind their decision to work with you or buy from you). This month, we’re getting even more personal: your relationship with your audience.
Because whether you’re happily coupled, or currently navigating the sea of love, this metaphor brings it into focus fast:
Marketing is a lot like dating.
You’re not just showing your work or sitting there looking pretty. No! You’re building trust through conversation, quality time together, maybe even acts of service.
You’re not offering a one-time service. You’re inviting someone into a relationship with you, your process, and your point of view.
And just like dating, different stages require different energy.
You wouldn’t walk into a bar or networking event and lead with your non-negotiables, your five-step process, or 14 photos of your favorite sofa. Right?
When someone first meets you (either online or in person) they’re looking for a vibe, not a resume.
That first impression serves to catch someone’s eye or stop their scroll or swipe: are you showing up as an industry thought leader? Stylish tastemaker? Colorful chameleon?
If that matches what your ideal audience is searching for, congratulations! You’ve captured their attention…if only for a moment.
Now the question is…can you keep it?
Just like in dating, real connection builds over time. It takes curiosity, conversation, and a little restraint and a lot of vulnerability. You don’t rush the big questions, especially if you’ve ever been on the wrong side of a relationship that went south and thought, if only I’d known…
The point is: you don’t ask someone to marry you on the first date. And you shouldn’t ask for a commitment the instant someone discovers your work.
It’s pushy. It’s presumptive. And it rarely works.
These days, the pond is full of fish and everyone knows it.
Winning the dating game (in life and business) requires equal parts timing, tact, and chemistry. And defining your ideal client is what helps you know how—and when—to show up.
Here’s what you can do to attract the right people (and build a lasting connection):
Know who you’re looking for.
If you’re marketing without a clear picture of who you want to work with, it’s like showing up to every first date hoping it just “clicks.” Define your ideal client in detail…what are their values? What are they tired of? What do they dream of?
Meet them where they are.
Your messaging should meet your client at the stage they’re in at this moment (not where you wish they were). New leads need education, empathy, patience. Returning visitors need clarity and then details. Speak to what they need right now.
Don’t propose on the first date.
Your first impression isn’t the time to explain your entire process. Focus on connection, not conversion. What do they need to know right now to feel seen, understood, and curious enough to keep going?
Marketing works best when it’s personal. When people feel like you’re speaking directly to them.
Because just like dating, the goal isn’t to appeal to everyone. It’s to build something meaningful with the right ones.
Next month, we’ll dig deeper into that idea: How having a clear point of view (and not just a great portfolio) is what makes your brand unforgettable.
Don’t forget!
DSA members can now save $500 on enrollment in Marketing School for Creatives (MSC), Ericka Saurit’s signature program designed to help creative entrepreneurs build a clear, confident, and consistent marketing strategy—without the overwhelm. With lifetime access to the core curriculum, expert-led workshops, live support, and a library of templates and tools, MSC is a must for any designer ready to level up. See your membership benefits page for details!
Start building a marketing plan that actually works! Be sure to keep up with Saurit Creative and MSC on Instagram!
